Terrible and Beautiful

Last night, I took the new computer back that we had bought over the weekend (there was an, um, issue with Best Buy that got resolved—another story). Nora had gone to be with a friend, so I had just Henry and Everett with me. Everett was a 15-month-old disaster at Best Buy, which is pretty standard. (I have a four-year-old, and I can say, with confidence, that the hardest age is just walking until fully talking.)

The whole time we were at Best Buy (it took forever, which was unexpected, but not surprising), Henry kept reminding me that I had said that we could go to "Benard's."

I told him that we have to wait until we're all done, and if he wasn't going to listen to me, we couldn't go. So, he did his best. He just laid down on the floor of Best Buy. At this point in my motherhood, I just let that happen. I probably got judged, but people can go fly a kite.

We left Best Buy, Henry reminded me about "Benard's," and I decided that he had behaved well enough to go (and I could strap Ev into a cart this time). The thing about "Benard's" is that they have ONE cart that is kid-friendly. It has a car on the front, and Henry asks me every day at least 86 times if we can go to "Benard's that has the yellow car."

I'm not even kidding about that.

So, we got to "Benard's," and we spotted the cart. As I herded my two boys into the store, two, slightly older boys darted into the store and headed straight for the cart. Henry went running after them saying, "Nooo!"

My heart sank . . . before Henry even said anything. I watched (almost outside myself) as I heard these little boys basically tell him "tough."

Henry had the hugest tears, and his cries were so full of anguish. He just doesn't get out much, darn it.

Anyway, what could I do? I just started to try to comfort him, and I said, "Sorry, buddy. We just missed it. Darn it."

Oh, it was painful. I about cried, too, honestly.

Luckily, over his cries, I barely heard the mother of the boys yelling, "You know what, guys? You need to let those little boys ride that car."

She actually walked over there and made them get off. I think she hated doing it, and I felt bad that she felt she had to do it (and, yet, that's honestly what I would have done had I been her). I couldn't help but to be pissed off at "Benard's" for only ever having ONE of those STUPID CARTS at EVERY "Benard's" STORE.

I told her "thank you," but it might have been lost on her. I made Henry say "thank you" to the boys. Believe it or not, the boys actually seemed to be OK with parting with the car once he said that.

It was terrible and beautiful all at once. Life is hard. You know it? Jeez.