Tuesday, October 21, 2014

My Thoughtful Whistle-Blower

I have to share a snippet of what our life is like with our Henry.

This morning, at the Fun Zone at our local Y, Henry was able to get a sucker (just a Dum Dum) out of the cauldron for being a well-behaved boy. He painstakingly (seriously) chose the cotton candy flavor. Then, just before we left, he said, "I am going to save this for Nora."

Everybody's heart melted. Twice. Then, I watched him struggle during the car ride (internally and externally) about it because he didn't realize how long it would be until she got home (and how long he would have to stare at it/smell it/think about it).

I explained to him that he is the sweetest boy for thinking of his sister and wanting to save that for her. I also mentioned that he needn't do that: that sucker was intended for him as a reward for his good behavior. I encouraged him to eat it himself as we have other suckers at home if the topic arose later.

I watched (in the rear-view) as he began to eat it. Then, I watched as he wilted, feeling completely guilty and disappointed in himself for not saving it for his sister. I explained to him that he should not feel so sad since that sucker really was intended for him—it isn't as if he did something wrong.

Still, he struggled. He still continues to struggle with his choice. I have a feeling he will blow the whistle on himself when Nora gets off the bus, even. I will likely see her get upset at him, and I will have to explain to her what a sweet brother he actually is (even though he's going to ruin it for himself by bothering to share his good, yet failed, intentions).

What's interesting about all of this: he never does it for Everett. (Not that Everett even cares.) I also think it is possible that he is doing it just to please his sister—who, by the way, has been known to coerce Henry into letting her eat his desserts (and, when I catch this happening, I stop it—FYI).

I have no idea how to even handle it. I understand the weight of the pressure he put on himself earlier. I just can't get him to realize that he's overdoing it. Maybe that'll just come with age. I don't know.

I love that he wants to be so thoughtful and loving like that, but . . . dang. Sometimes his heart is too big.