2. If grocery shopping takes you Y amount of time on your own, when children are added to the mix, you take Y and multiply it by 2 for one child and add one more to the multiplier for each additional child. So, for example, for me, it's Y x 4. I spent half the day at Meijer today (with my children), and we all about died.
3. Need a job, anybody? Meijer in Portage needs more deli people. It wasn't posted, but that was my observation.
4. There was a mom at Meijer (at 12:35 p.m. today) at the checkout who had a screaming toddler and a laughing 10-month-old. I saw several people flee the line to avoid them, and I purposely went to that line. My kids entertained the 10-month-old (who was doing fine on his own because he thought his screaming brother was hilarious), and I said a couple of things to the mom that I thought I'd have liked to hear (from, clearly, a seasoned veteran with my whole crew there) like, "It's quite something to have one laughing while one is crying, isn't it? Talent!" and "Ooh. 12:35 p.m. It's about that time. I'm familiar with that. I've done that a few times."
She smiled in appreciation, and it's possible my kids drove her nuts. However, she did take a moment to tell us all to have a good day as she left. I think that's a good sign.
5. There was another mom at Meijer who was waiting with her son for Sandy while my kids were rudely monopolizing her (Sandy). Everett was mopping the floor with his body under Sandy (trying to get a penny!? and a disease!?). Nora found an extra penny and gave her newly purchased (with her own money) white stuffed tiger a ride on Sandy. I said the following things out loud in no particular order:
"Everett. Stop mopping under Sandy with your body. If you're trying to get a penny, it isn't worth it."
"Nora. There is a living, breathing boy over here who is waiting very patiently to ride Sandy while you give your stuffed animal a ride."
"Guys. Stop sticking your fingers in the moving parts of Sandy. That is unwise."
Then, I found out that Everett still hadn't taken his turn, and as I was losing my $#!+ about it, the other mom looked at me (fondly, I would say) and said, "Oh! Don't worry about it. He can go."
After that, she intimated that it's hilarious: the things that we find ourselves saying as parents and offered the "moving parts" comment as one of those things.
6. There are people in this world that are super angry all the time, and nothing will melt their icy hearts. As I was coming out with all my ducklings, Everett, who had grazed all the aisles of Meijer for random trash, had decided he wanted to throw out a couple of items before crossing the street. A woman in a large SUV appeared to be waiting for us to cross when Ev decided this, and I was too busy making sure nobody ran into the parking lot. Three seconds passed (while Ev delivered his trash to the receptacle), and this woman (in the SUV) hit the gas hard so as to make a racket, and as she drove by, she was shaking her head. My first instinct is to always think, "What a jerk." But, then, I remember: her life probably sucks if she's going to behave that way on purpose. (Not that I expected her to wait. It's just weird that she had to shake her head and be all huffy about us not crossing when she needed us to . . . when I have THREE kids that I am managing and a very large cart.)
7. Top three least favorite roads to travel in the whole world in ascending order:
- I65 south near Merrillville.
- US30 in Merrillville.
- Willowcreek/Crisman Road in Portage.
BONUS ITEM: Dogs are gross.