Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sleep Talkin' Woman

Last night, Henry woke up crying (which is fairly typical). Normally, I wake up when this happens, and I get up to address it. This time, I was apparently in a deep sleep. I remember waking up to a very confused Willis who was saying, "What? We've only been asleep two hours, and he's already awake."

This morning, Willis was sure to tell me how our conversation actually started.

Henry's cries.

Me: "I guess your toasted cheese is done."

Willis: "What?"

Me: "Yeah. You had to make a toasted cheese, and Henry's awake, now."

Willis: "What? We've only been asleep two hours, and he's already awake."

Willis gets up and takes care of Henry.

And yes, that is condescension you hear in my voice. Obviously, I was irritated that Willis decided to make that stupid toasted cheese while we were sleeping.

Poor guy.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Hey, It's Okay Tuesday!

It's been awhile since I've had a minute to even think about posting a good, old fashioned rant, bullet-style. It's comin' fresh to you today, though, and you can thank Amber and Sara for this little Tuesday gem.

Hey, It's Okay . . .

To have to clean your house before you can clean your house. I'm not talking about picking up your kids' toys, people. I'm talking about schluffing off that upper quarter inch of dust and pet hair on everything before you can get to the dirt that you were supposed to have gotten long, long ago.

To not have made a single resolution . . . again. (Why is the beginning of a year more important than the end of a year, anyway? Whatever happened to living every day blah blah blah?)

To vow not to get so many toys (we only had two, but it was two too many) that require a ridiculous amount of assembly for Christmas next year. (Oooh. That could be a resolution.) Nora's freaking trike didn't even have HALF the parts necessary for assembly. I'm still waiting to hear back from customer service on that one. Punks. Poor kid.

To have really enjoyed the movie 500 Days of Summer.

If you get an awesome adrenaline rush from purging stuff from your house via Freecycle. (It makes it almost too easy to get rid of things that you usually hold onto because you can't justify throwing it out in the garbage.)

If you're already looking forward to Groundhog Day being on TV. I'm talking about the movie, people.

If you accidentally dressed your daughter in a strangely loose-fitting dress for Christmas, not realizing that it was actually a coat.

To want to climb a mountain and profess your love for Crest Glide Deep Clean dental floss. I have weird teeth that need more flossing than any normal human being, and that bizness makes it bearable.

If your kid climbed out of his crib for the first time ever while you were typing this. I guess he's not napping!

To be really annoyed that there's not a Pizza King or an Arni's for, like, miles and miles and miles. Or a Chipotle for that matter. Or any place that you'd even consider going into to buy sushi (not that I can have all sushi, by any means). (Welcome back, appetite!)

To be really relieved that your littlest kid is starting to speak some words and make some sense. That time where they can't effectively communicate is fun and all, but I'm ready to get to know this guy. (Speaking of the little guy, he's actually yelling at me for some juice. So, I've gotta go.)