Again, I'll do a shout out to friend Sara for bringing this tasty idea nugget to my attention.
Hey, It's Okay . . .
. . . to desperately want to grab a person's phone and smash it into a million pieces against the nearest wall (or, preferably, the wall directly behind their head) when he/she is texting/looking at his/her phone while they are supposed to be engaged in a conversation with someone (anyone—it doesn't even have to be me).
. . . to have the urge to pretend that your bigger car is a bumper car when you see someone texting/looking at his/her phone while driving in two lanes at the same time.
. . . to not know what you're looking at when you look at someone's Twitter feed. (And, no, I'm not actually on Twitter.)
. . . to have a "two strikes and you're out" rule when it comes to your Facebook news feed (if they have two boring, lame, or offensive status messages in a row or two applications in a row, it's hidesville for this moi).
. . . to throw a cat, if necessary. They land on their feet—even if you hope they don't.
. . . to be obsessed with the theory of birth order because you have a hunch that it might help you find some inner peace.
. . . to be bothered by people who casually saunter in front of you in the grocery store (with a loaded cart) and then block you from multiple checkout lines while they determine which one they want when you're carrying ice cream and pie in your hands.
. . . to be taken aback when the cashier at the grocery store who appears to be, like, 18 years old says to the child in front of you, "My step-daughter is six years old, just like you!"
. . . to not change your kid's outfit if it's just a little wet. And, no, I'm not talking about water.
. . . to think it's funny that your daughter thinks it's funny to torment the dog by chasing him with her shopping cart.